If I Were Gay
by aliasdenied
Summary: Marluxia is ranting about how he's the only one in the Organization XIII that isn't gay, contrary to popular belief. And that's just chapter one! If you don't like yaoi, don't read.


I felt like writing something a month or so ago, so I called my friend.

Me- "I want to write a KH fan-fic!"

Her- "What about?"

Me- "I 'unno... Organization XIII..."

Her- "You know, what if Marluxia was the only in the Organization who wasn't gay? Because, you know, everyone's always sayign he's gay."

So yeah. That's how it started. Read and enjoy.

Disclaimer stuff- I do not, in anyway, besides what the voices in my head tell me, own any part of Kingdom Hearts 1, Chain of Memories, or 2 in any way, shape or form. As much as I wish it, Axel is not mine, and Demyx doesn't live in my backyard. SquareEnix belongs to SquareEnix. Not me.

Also, the pairings in here are completely random and meant to be humerous. If you are insulted in any way... you suck. Get over it.

Got it memorized?

* * *

Marluxia was seated in a plush red chair in his room at Castle Oblivion, scowling at the door; Axel had just paraded in with Roxas in tow, singing some obscene song. Larxene was seated in front of him, repairing the camera she and Marluxia had painstakingly set up minutes before Axel's entrance. That had pissed Larxene off- now Axel was sporting an electric burn, and lacking in a few locks of hair. Larxene was missing one of her kunai. 

"Their antics aside, how's it coming?" Marluxia asked, stiffling a yawn as he tapped his shoes on the floor.

"I'm getting there... If you'd shut-up for half a second maybe I'd get it done half a second quicker..." Larxene muttered, throwing some more volts into the electronic.

Marluxia threw his hands up in mock defeat. "Wow, Larxene, you're being awful nice today. Axel stills has an almost full head of hair, and you didn't take an ear this time."

"That's because your infectious personality is getting to me. Now shut-up." Her voice was dripping with contained sarcasm. Bringing another one of her kunai up, she stabbed it repeatedly into the cracks that kept the wires inside. "Okay, now I'm not exactly promising a High Definition result, but it'll do.

Training the camera onto Marluxia again, she nodded. "It's ready now. When you see the red light flicker on, you can start ranting."

Marluxia was still perched in his chair, and had no desire to get up. The red light flashed and he waited a moment before continuing. "As most of you know,I'm Marluxia, the Graceful Assassin, Number 11 in Organization 13, Lord of Castle Oblivion. But one thing I am not, is gay." At this he threw a disgusted look at the camera. "As most of you seem to think."

"Just because I have pink hair does not mean I am gay. I CAN'T HELP GENETICS! Both my parents had red hair. Somehow, that gives me frecking pink hair." Here he paused, then stood and walked out of range of the camera, returning with his sithe.

"And this? Do you think that **_I_** get to choose my weapons? Blame the Superior. He assigns the weapons that supposedly best fit with your element." He frowned.

"What's so funny?"

Larxene's hand was plastered over her mouth, and she was trying her best to cover the muffled laughter that was leaking through. Shaking her head, she brandished her set of kunai at him, and mouthed, "_I got to choose my own weapon..._"

"...Just shut-up. I'm trying to make a point." Glaring at her, he sighed and shook his head. "Anyways, he gives me this pink scythe; pink to go with my hair," He rolled his eyes. "And a scythe, ironic, because of my earth element. Which is another point; I don't do just flowers. And flowers don't make me gay either. How would you feel if you had a 3 foot think vine with foot long thorns embedding itself into your body? That's not gay, that's just torturous."

"Let's see... I'm just about convinced that everyone in this Organization is gay. As far as I know, Xemnas is with Xigbar, Vexen with Saix, Xaldin with Axel, Zexion with Lexaeus, and Luxord with Demyx. As for Roxas, he's new. So he doesn't count. Besides, Sora is with Riku, so Riku would be insulted if Roxas was with somebody."

Marluxia was trying his hardest not to laugh. "And I'm with Larxene. She's filming this."

Larxene scowled, but waved at him from behind the camera.

Marluxia yawned and stretched. "That's really all I wanted to say. You can end it now, Larxene."

* * *

That's pretty much chapter one- sorry, I stopped in the middle of the chapter, I had to leave suddenly. The next chapters will be... interesting. If you don't like yaoi, don't read further.

Please read and review! I need to get together with my other friends so we can write out the next chapters, so it might be a while.

Thanks for reading And if you have any suggestions, leave them as reviews. Thanks!


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